Passive Aggression is a learned behaviour and a tool that many of us pick up watching our parent's arguments unravelling, it is a defence mechanism we employ to keep us safe from other people’s judgement or opinion of us.

I’ll let you know I’m unhappy about the situation, but I’ll let you know is such a way that if you challenge me and I feel threatened then I can deny it and you will be left confused and I will feel less attacked.

Often when we think of emotional abuse our mind wanders to the narcissistic personality type, manipulating and playing mind games with you to win control over our mind and our emotions, the ultimate in emotional abuse.

I don’t deny it happens and way more regularly that we would like to admit and it’s on the increase.  In this type of relationship dynamic, as social media feeds our need for a more superficial recognition we spend more time crafting the perfect outside image...

I saw this headline on my news feed and it got me thinking!

13 people in the UK filed for divorce online on Christmas day.
Over the festive period i.e. 24 with December until the 4th January, more than 400 applied online.

Thanks to a new service apparently aimed at modernising the divorce procedures in the UK, we have this valuable data which corroborates what anyone who works relationships already knows.

Most people I mentioned this statistic to were shocked, 13 individuals took time on Christmas day to lodge their request to begin divorce proceedings.

I was shocked that the number was so low, we always see a huge rise in people seeking divorce advise, counselling and coaching in January.

Is Ending Your Marriage Just Another New Year’s Resolution

New Year, new life, new resolution and of course this comes on the back of all those unmet expectations from the holiday period.
Throw into the mix the financial strains of Christmas,
The increased amounts of time spent together as a...

Are You Sabotaging Your Relationships With Your Thoughts?

You aren't alone, you very simply have never been taught or in your pain have forgotten the basic principles of Communication.

If relationships are our reason for being (and I truly believe they are) the Communication is the secret ingredient which determines the level of success we celebrate in our relationships, whether in your marriage, with your children, with your friends and work colleagues.

So many times I hear "I'm scared I'll say the wrong thing."

If you are engaged in healthy communication there is No Wrong Thing.

You can't get it wrong because it isn't about what you say.

It is about how you say it (the intention behind the words).

It is about why you say it (what are you trying to achieve with your words).

It is about your motivation.

But it is about so much more!

When I hear communication breakdown, I know that my clients are talking about a one way street, where it is all about being understood, they have missed...

Put It On The Shelf - One Piece of Counter-Intuitive Advice From A Relationship Coach.

When your marriage no longer feels like a safe haven and you feel that you need to build resilience just to spend the weekend or downtime together, your mind goes into overdrive, looking for solutions to the problem, creating plans and strategies and generally exhausting itself.

Of course, my business is all about relationships, romantic and familial breakdowns and how to make them work. I help women move from the brink of divorce back toward a loving healthy simply connected partnership.

Of course, we deal with lack of communication, infidelity (both yours and your partners), we identify emotionally abusive patterns v.s. poor communication patterns.

We identify your behaviours and beliefs (long-held and oft-times subconscious) which may have created expectations and/or dynamics which cause friction.

We identify the relationship you dream of having with your partner and get very clear on...

When I began with a peanut size idea that I wanted to give back to a world which I had been frightened to be part of for so long and that I'd never truly felt part of - it was very simple!

I wanted to teach women how to create an amazing connection in their current relationships. I wanted to teach them what I had discovered – it only takes one person to save a marriage – and that person is you!

I had no idea that how deep this personal transformation would be for the women I worked with. Not only did they redefine relationships, love and healthy connection increase, but health, career, relationships and interaction with family members, self-confidence, self-belief, the ability to champion others, to become leaders rather than reactionaries – these are a few of the by-products of making a decision to take control of your romantic happiness.

It seems that the success of your long-term committed relationship is fundamental to your long-term success in life.

Fast...

Self Love is a process they told me. You can’t sell a process.

People don’t want to know how they want to know what is in it for them. They want transformation. They want the successful business, they want the beach body or to save their marriage.

They will never buy the process I was told and that is why you need a niche, so I niched and became a relationship coach working with women who were unhappily married but unsure whether they really wanted to work on saving their marriage or create an exit strategy.

This is a super important question to have answered for yourself before beginning any new communication with your partner and this is where often counselling fails. People do what they think they “should” be doing without actually checking in with themselves first. They do “the right thing” only to discover that it is, in fact, the wrong thing for them as a couple or as two individuals.

What I have discovered is that those women who are...

Pleasing People - Let's Be Honest It Sounds Kind Of Lovely Right?

I learned how to please at very early age, in fact, I don’t remember I can only remember a few occasions when I deliberately didn’t please people.

After the thrill of exhilaration – I was left with a deep sense of guilt, then as years went by anger at the world, why did other people get to choose and I didn’t?

Why could other people be so “selfish” and I couldn’t.

What Is People Pleasing?

Because let's be honest it sounds kind lovely, right?

My people pleasing began as a way to be gain recognition and “love” from my mother. I don’t remember but I know that she was sick after I was born, she suffered from her nerves and migraine so my first memories are of being quiet. That was being a good girl and presumably being a good girl earned me love – so I was up for that – I wanted that love desperately so I learned to be quiet.

I was also born with the...

Three Reasons Couples Counselling Is Bad For Your Marriage

If you’ve reached stalemate but still believe deep down that your partner is your soul-mate, then most likely you would go to anything lengths to resolve the conflict, revive the passion and rekindle the flame.  If you realise that you’ve gone beyond stalemate and neither of you is reaching a fresh perspective then it may seem like coaching is the best option.

And it is!  If you both are 100% committed to the process, you are both approaching it without expectation and with an open mind.

It will help unpick the communication breakdown, create the room to hear each other in a neutral space and will provide tools to improve your overall trust and love, which is fundamental to the success of the marriage.

There are however many situations which either don’t lend themselves to couple’s counselling and if fact may lead to deeper problems in the marriage.

What if however, one party agrees to...

“I don’t think it will work for me,” If I had a penny for every time I had thought that or a client used those words, I’d have enough pennies to change the world single-handedly – but only my world, because I can’t change how you see the world, what you believe or the work that you are prepared to put in, not without your permission anyway.

Needing it isn’t the only pre-requisite.

I learned very early on when I took my passion for self discovery and change and launched it into a business working with women who were ready to step up and create the relationship they were dreaming of with their husband, that I can only reach those of you who really want that change. It is pretty frustrating and here is the thing, mostly those who actually need it most are often the most unhappy, discontent and lacking self worth, but they are not prepared to take the shot. 

You are denying yourself the chance to become the woman who bravely reaches out,...

Are you questioning your marriage? You aren’t sure you even love your husband.

You think you know what you want to do but there is always a reason not to do it, in fact, you’ve put thinking about it on the back burner until January!

Let me tell you why this is the worst idea ever!

No! First let me ask you a question, how many other times have you found a reason to put off facing your marital struggles? Each birthday, yours, his, the kids, your mother, his mother, the dogs, wedding anniversaries, summer holiday, Easter break, school exam time, Thanksgiving, Christmas? I’ll bet if you are honest you will be able to add to this list.

It sounds plausible, logical even and you won’t find many people questioning your reasoning…….but I’m not most people I’m a relationship coach who watches women effectively throw away their marriages and there personal choice using just such plausible justifications.

Here is the thing, one client of mine...