This is a tough question and one which many of us ask ourselves at some time or another, mostly as a fleeting idea in a moment of frustration or despair, but it is usually dismissed almost as quickly as it arrives.

What if however, you find that thought playing more and more on your mind and the answer is more frequently no I don’t than yes? 

It may be coupled with the idea “I’m not sure I love my partner any-more,” You may find yourself fantasising more frequently about life beyond marriage, or your husband or wife miraculously becoming the person dream they were.

Another common symptom of discord in your marriage are the dream to run away from it all, go settle on a desert island where no one knows you, which for most of us is no more than a dream.

So what can you do if you are asking yourself these questions? 

First thing is to put to marriage to one side, leave thoughts of how you make your partner understand your unhappiness for another day and...

Now is the time to use that power to design the life you want to live, surrounding by people who will support you in your dream.

Responsibility for ourselves and our actions is something that is often difficult for a person to accept.

Are you aware that you have created your current reality?  Every decision, every time you didn’t make a decision and allowed others to do so has led you to where you are now.

I know that is difficult to accept and often at this point you find yourself triggered, your hackles rise and there is a heat in your belly.

You want to tell me I’m wrong, the anger is rising from within, how dare I say that. I know nothing about you, your situation, the events that have unfolded in your life that have brought you to where you are today.

The truth is very simply – the events in your life didn’t create your current reality, your reaction to them did.

There may be many reasons for your reaction, fear, the desire to liked or love or very...

I learned it the hard way and still have to remind myself at times, but a relationship with no healthy boundaries is a recipe for disaster, hurt, anger, misunderstanding and ultimately lack of trust.

Do you ever quiet down your mind and listen to that recurring thought screaming out at you. This week for me it was around boundaries. Everyone I spoke to everything, everything I read, it was about why we should have them and the problems caused by not having firm boundaries in place.

So aware of this was I, that I reached for my copy of Brene Brown’s The gifts of imperfection.

• What she addresses is the chaos that reigns when we are living without boundaries.

• We say yes when we mean no.

• We get resentful because we feel taken for granted.

• We give off confusing signals to those around us, our word and our actions are out of alignment.

• It becomes difficult to understand us, people are confused by us and this leads to a lack of trust, breeds lack of communication and so it...

Tell me what you want, what you really really want and I’ll show you how to get it.

The problem is often we just don’t know, maybe I’ll stay, maybe I’ll go, maybe I’ll just make do.

When you are working on this sort of energy it is impossible to make any positive headway on a problem, any problem. We, however, are talking about a very specific issue. We are talking about your marriage and how will you know if it can be saved or not?

I have worked with and spoken to hundreds of women; women who don’t know whether to stay, whether to go and women who have gone and regretted it, (did you know that 50% of us regret divorcing our partner). I even spoke to women who just knew they were making the right decision because I was curious to know how they “knew.”

I collated hours worth of talking and probing and questioning and created my own self-analysis questionnaire.

It helps each individual arrive at your own conclusion about the state of...

If You Are Being Emotionally Abused These 7 Steps Will Make It Stop

Nobody deserves this.

Wikipedia defines gas-lighting or gas-lighting as "a form of psychological abuse in which a victim is manipulated into doubting their own memory, perception, and sanity. Instances may range from the denial by an abuser that previous abusive incidents ever occurred up to the staging of bizarre events by the abuser with the intention of disorienting the victim."

However, in my personal experience, it can also be a lot more subtle.

For instance, for many years, my mother told me told me that my father loved me and didn’t love anyone else in the family. I have no idea if this is true or not — I certainly did feel loved by my father.

When I eventually told my mother, as an adult, how this made me feel, the guilt I carried for being loved, her response first response was to deny that it ever happened. Then that if it did happen, I took it the wrong way.

And, finally, that...

 You may have 100 reasons to leave your marriage but I have one reason you should stay.

At least until you understand what it was you have attracted you to him enough to handover full power and authority for your happiness.

Until you know this you will never be fully free or happy.

Does it sound a little harsh?

Experience tells me it is very fair I have seen too many women throwing their hands up leaving the tea towel on the kitchen table and heading for pastures new only to find that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side or worse still they are scared to walk barefoot on the grass for fear of being bitten once again.

Oh yes, I am very much for a happy ending and that is yours for the taking when you are ready to take responsibility for your happiness and lean into the idea that every decision you have ever made has brought you to where you are today.

So leave by all means but only after you have learned how to makes yourself happy from the inside out.

Only...

Probably not what you think.

Firstly, she is just as shocked as you.

Yes, we all have the stereotypical picture of a woman who cheats, you only have to look around the room at a party or event. Watch out for the woman who possessively places her hand on her partner's arm. "He’s mine!" she's saying. "Watch it lady."

Now, I’ll bet you a pound to a penny that that kind of woman is never your wife. Much as that woman is attractive, you're pretty relieved that she isn’t yours.

You like that your wife is much more in tune with other women, the sort who is always available to help out, her friends out in the hour of need, the school run, at work, with family and even at home, yes she is utterly non-threatening.

No, you're pretty certain than no one has ever possessively placed a hand on their husband in your wife’s presence.

But, now she love cheats. How could it have happened? What changed?...

That is exactly how I transformed (completely by accident) the breaking point in my marriage into the breakthrough moment, that saw me fall back in love with my husband (and as a bonus myself).

Destination: DIVORCE

Journey: HOME (To create emotional stability and resilience which had been eroded in the course of our marriage breaking down PLUS the understanding what I really wanted from life so that I had a post separation starting point).

I needed to leave my marriage, it was dead, at best I could tolerate my husband at worst I loathed him.

We were alternately silent or fighting—the atmosphere was always tense and I was constantly defensive and very sad, pretty bitter too and full of disappointment.

I had been at jumping off point for quite sometime and eventually, inevitably the scales tipped in favour of leaving. Until that moment my kid’s well-being, my financial security, my lack of stable income and the fear of letting my kids down, plus of course the failure and...

Use those hurtful verbal exchanges to transform your relationship.

Do you ever have one of those arguments that leave you feeling so enraged and indignant that you would leave there and then, never to return — because that would show her?

Have you ever wondered why this one really got under your skin? I know it sucks, you want to empty a barrel load of swear words or worse… into his chest.

Stop right there, hold that thought and let's transform it!

What if this situation is actually your biggest gift? Without this argument and these emotions, you will never discover your truth, and along with it, the secret to happiness in life and love.

Doesn’t sound bad at all, does it?

The one snag, though, is in order to achieve this state of self empowerment you must buy into the idea that the world is a looking glass, and it gives back to you a true and honest reflection of your own thoughts.

Can you allow yourself to believe this for a moment?

If so, I can promise you that...